An Unlikely Pair
by October103
Summary: A collection of one-shots surrounding the friendship, hidden feelings, and love between Rachel Green and Chandler Bing. Prompts accepted!
1. The Cookie Angel

**Inspired by S4E12 - The One with the Embryos.**

 **Chandler knows Rachel better than she knows him.**

* * *

 **The Cookie Angel**

On his way back to the office after lunch, Chandler passes by Jefferson Market and briefly glances inside before coming to an abrupt stop. Through the window, he sees Rachel, pushing a small cart up the aisle. Her purse is sitting in the front, next to an open box of cookies, of which Rachel is stuffing her face.

Chandler grins as the term "cookie monster" comes to mind. Although, with the way the light is hitting her from behind and the delicate way she wipes crumbs from her mauve lips, he thinks the word "monster" is hardly fitting. No, Rachel Green, with her soft, dirty blonde hair and her impossibly smooth skin, is more akin to an angel.

Chandler scratches the back of his head, wondering where these thoughts are coming from. But even as he wonders, he can't seem to make himself walk in the store and announce to her his presence. Instead, he continues to stand there and watch her do her shopping. He notices that, for every item she places in the cart, she slips another Devil's Food cookie from the box.

Chandler smiles at the way she juts her hip out when she stops to examine the back of a yogurt container. As she does so, her fingers snake over to the open box and she pulls out another cookie without looking. But just as she takes a bite, a man taps her on the shoulder. Rachel jumps, taken off guard, and spews crumbs all over the man's face, the other half of the cookie flying up into the air.

The man takes a moment to brush off his face before reaching around Rachel to grab a stick of butter, glaring at her as he walks away. Rachel clears her throat and glances around frantically, hoping no one caught the show. She throws the yogurt into her cart and rushes to the check-out counter.

Chandler laughs out loud to himself and steps away from the window, leaning up against the front of the building. A few minutes later, Rachel emerges with a bag in hand. She turns and spots him immediately, a brilliant smile lighting her perfect face. Again, Chandler is unprepared for the way his brain is conjuring up these words to describe her.

"Hey honey, what are you doing here?"

"I was just heading to- oh, here." He reaches out and wipes away a singular brown crumb clinging to the edge of her lip. He holds it up for her to see before flicking it away.

"Oh, my god." She holds a hand over her mouth and stomps her foot, irritated. "I cannot believe that was there the whole time."

"I'm sure no one saw." He fibs.

"Yeah, right." She mumbles. She slips her arm through his and pulls him away from the market, "Come on, let's get out of here."

Chandler doesn't mention that he's supposed to be on his way back to work or that he's walking in the wrong direction. And when Rachel looks up at him and asks if he wants to grab a cup of coffee, he tells her yes, that would be great. He makes a mental note to call his boss as soon as they get to Central Perk to tell him that he's come down with food poisoning, or... something.

As the two of them walk down the street together, it's hard for Chandler to miss all the men ogling Rachel. When he sees them, it's like an uncontrolled reaction, he tightens his grip on her arm and draws her attention elsewhere. For the life of him, he can't figure out why, all of a sudden, he's so possessive of her. Luckily for his sanity, Rachel is in no mood to be ogled.

Just as another man walks by, eyes raking up and down her body like a predator would appraise prey, Rachel points just past him and screams, "Watch out!"

The man, who was stepping off the curb, into the street, over corrects and trips, landing in a sprawling heap on the ground. Rachel doubles over in laughter, hand on her stomach. Chandler laughs too, but if he's being honest, the smile on his face has more to do with the beautiful sound of Rachel's laughter rather than the way she just totally screwed with that jerk. But his smile quickly vanishes as the jerk gets to his feet, scowling at the two of them. Chandler and Rachel reach for each other at the same time as they hurry down the sidewalk.

When they make it to Central Perk, Chandler takes a seat at the small table next to the counter and Rachel plops down on the sofa between Monica and Phoebe. He's a little disappointed that it's not just the two of them any longer, but he's not worried. He has a million minutes to spend alone with Rachel. If not now, then most likely tomorrow. They do just live right across the hall from each other.

Rachel pulls her half-eaten box of cookies from the Jefferson Market bag and offers some to both Monica and Phoebe. They decline in lieu of their respective drinks and when Rachel turns to him with a smile, the box held out to him, he takes one out and waits for her to do the same. They bite into their cookies at the same time and share a private smile.

He has always loved Rachel. She's one of his best friends. But as he watches her now, eating cookies and laughing with her friends, he's a little frightened to realize that Rachel is not Just Rachel anymore, and he tries to think back to when this might have happened. But whether it happened the day he met her at the Gellar's all those years ago or just earlier today, Chandler doesn't think it really matters.

Because now she's his cookie angel, and he doesn't think there's any coming back from this.

* * *

 **I have always been a fan of the Rachel/Chandler pairing and these are my attempts at writing for them! This will be a collection of one-shots, some much longer than the others. Most of these will be inspired by events from the show, so I'll post which episode at the beginning of each chapter. I'm open to feedback and prompts, always. I hope you all enjoy ❤**


	2. Worst Kept Secret

**Inspired by S4E05 - The One with Joey's New Girlfriend.**

 **Someone let it slip to Rachel about Ross's non-kiss.**

* * *

 **Worst Kept Secret**

"Monica? Rachel? Anybody here?"

"Out here." Is the response he gets.

Chandler peers through the window from the front door and just barely makes out his friend's silhouette. Her back is to him, but he can see the wine glass in her hand, as well as the almost empty bottle sitting on the arm of her chair. He knows instantly that she is upset and has a pretty good guess as to why. So, he trots over to the window and climbs through, taking a seat on the ground next to her chair.

Rachel smiles down at him briefly before returning her gaze to the night sky, blowing a loose strand of hair out of her face. Chandler places a comforting hand on her knee, but otherwise, doesn't say anything. He's pretty sure he's encroaching on Rachel's trip down memory lane, and while he doesn't want to intrude, he thinks maybe she could use the company. So he sits quietly, squeezing her leg every now and again to remind her that he's there and willing to listen if she wants.

They stay this way for a while, sitting, not speaking, watching the stars shimmer and play in the sky, until all the wine is gone and Rachel makes a whimpering noise.

"I just didn't think we would end. That's so silly, isn't it?" She glances down at Chandler. "We're so young and have so much life to live and there I was, thinking I was done; that Ross and I would be together forever."

"Hey, it's not silly. You guys were in love. You love him."

"I do _not_ love him." She fires back.

"Uh, you do, and it's just about the worst kept secret of all time." He informs her.

Rachel slumps in her chair and whimpers again, "And now he's off on a date with another woman and... and I know _I_ broke up with _him_ , okay? I know that. But it doesn't make it easier to see him moving on."

Chandler pulls the empty wine glass from his friend's hand and proceeds to thread their fingers together. Rachel smiles down at him bittersweetly, but squeezes his hand in return. She closes her eyes and blows out another breath, completely defeated. Watching her, Chandler so desperately wants to make her feel better. But he knows there is nothing he can say to make everything she's feeling go away.

However, there is one thing that she might find a small bit of comfort in.

"He didn't even kiss her."

Rachel peeks over at him from one eye, "What?"

"Amanda. They took their kids to Chuck E. Cheese's this afternoon and he didn't kiss her. Some date." Chandler smirks up at her.

She smiles down at him hopefully, "Really?"

He chuckles, rubbing little circles over her hand with his thumb, "Yeah."

Rachel purses her lips and glances back towards the horizon, "That makes me feel a little better."

Chandler hates himself for it, but he has to tell her, "It doesn't mean it won't happen one day, though."

"I know." She insists, becoming slightly more somber again. "I was just hoping it would be me first."

Chandler laughs out loud and Rachel giggles quietly, looking over at him. They sit in silence for a while after that, simply holding on to each other and finding solace in each other's company. But the heartbreaking frown slowly reappears on Rachel's face, until she just can't sit still any longer.

She stands from her chair and walks to the far corner of the balcony, resting her arms on the ledge. She stares down into the street, watching the cars roll by and suddenly, she's not sad anymore, she's angry.

She spins around, "You're so lucky you're not in love with anyone. Don't fall in love, Chandler. It's stupid and it screws you up and it's not worth it. It's just painful and - and stupid."

Chandler gets to his feet, "Oh, I don't know about that. Being in love is... it's unlike anything else. It comes with some crappy parts, sure, but... I think it's worth it in the end."

Rachel simply huffs in response.

"What's the saying? It's better to have love and lost than to have never loved at all."

Rachel eyes him suspiciously, "You've been reading Cosmo again, haven't you?"

"I can't help it if that's the only reading material you guys have in the bathroom, okay?"

Rachel laughs and snakes her arms around his waist. With her head against his chest and his arms surrounding her, Chandler takes a moment to stare up into the dark night and damn the person who made him fall in love with Rachel Green, his best friend's girl, his next-door neighbor. He understands her better than she will ever know when she says love is painful. But still, he stands by his cliché sentiment. He is far happier loving her and knowing the feeling will never be reciprocated, than to go on never feeling this way about her at all.

His friends will tell him later that he is the worst secret keeper ever. But one might say that they don't really know Chandler Bing at all.

* * *

 **Let me know if you like it!**


	3. The 4th Kiss

**Inspired by S7E11 - The One with all the Cheesecakes.**

 **Chandler and Rachel have a cheesecake fight.**

* * *

 **The 4th Kiss**

"All right, you gotta give me some of your piece." Rachel holds her hand out to Chandler.

"Oh, no, no." Chander laughs, "No switching, no sharing, and don't come crying to me! I may just sit here and have my cake call day. Just sit here in the hallway and eat my..."

He doesn't expect her to do it, it catches him completely off guard. But there goes Rachel's hand, swatting his delicious, creamy piece of cheesecake down to the floor. He stares at it, momentarily broken-hearted, until he realizes that there's still a bite on his fork.

Rachel eyes it like a feral, starving animal, but she knows she'll spook him if she lunges for it. So she bends down, grabs a handful of ruined cheesecake and lobs it right at Chandler's face. He stumbles backwards, but somehow, _thank God_ , manages to keep from dropping the fork.

Rachel snatches it out of his hand and stuffs it in her mouth before he can even figure out what's going on. But as she's savoring that last beautiful bite, Chandler has also found a handful of cheesecake and waits patiently for her to open her eyes before he throws it at her. It splatters across her chest, dripping down into her shirt.

Their eyes meet and suddenly, it's war.

They both dive for the ground, reaching for their respective piles of cake. Rachel starts throwing pieces at him with both hands. Chandler scoops up a large handful and pounces on her, smearing it all over her face while she kicks underneath him. He rolls away to grab some more, but Rachel takes her chance and runs for her apartment door. Chandler follows, the last of the cake in his hand, ready to be flung.

"You drop that cake right now!" Rachel points at him.

They're both on opposite sides of the recliner, trying to catch and run away from each other. Chandler is quicker than he looks, though. When Rachel tries to dart for the bathroom door, Chandler grabs her around the waist and they fall haphazardly onto the yellow leather sofa. He's lying on top of her, rubbing cake in her hair and around her neck, hoping to get it in every possibly crevice. That'll teach her not to mess with him!

But in the midst of it all, of the grabbing and the rubbing against each other and the smell of that heavenly cheesecake, they stall. They're staring at each other with giddy smiles, chuckling at the mess they've made, when it happens. Chandler leans forward and, so gently it could have been mistaken as an accident, he kisses her. When he pulls back, Rachel is staring at him with wide, confused eyes. He's about to jump off of her and run back home to lock himself in his bedroom, but he doesn't get the chance.

Rachel's slim fingers thread through his hair and she pulls him against her. For a moment, all either one of them can think about is why it doesn't feel strange. But then again, none of their kisses ever have. Not their first, back at that college party, and not their second or third, the day Chandler developed his European Goodbye Thing. In fact, Chandler remembers feeling oddly torn that day he kissed Rachel twice. Like maybe he'd chosen the wrong friend to fall in love with.

And just like, in the midst of their hands all over each other and their mouths pressed so firmly together, they break apart.

Monica.

Chandler gets to his feet, looking around nervously as if somebody might have seen them. Rachel, for her part, looks less nervous and more confused. She's sitting on her and Joey's sofa, a finger brushing across her bottom lip absentmindedly, wondering what on Earth has just happened. She glances up at her partner in crime, but just as their eyes meet, they both look away again.

"I should go."

"Okay, yeah."

Rachel follows him to the front door. He's about to step over the threshold when he turns back.

"I'm so sorry, Rachel. I didn't mean to..."

"Please, it wasn't just you, all right? Let's just forget about it."

"Great, okay, yes. It's forgotten." He smiles at her hesitantly before turning and fleeing to his apartment.

Rachel closes the door behind him and falls back against it, sliding down, down, down until she thumps against the floor. She covers her face with her hands and sighs. She knows the kiss will not be forgotten. How could she ever forget their fourth kiss? She never forgot the first. The second and third are still vivid memories, and unfortunately, this one tops them all.

She is so screwed.

Across the hall, Chandler is pacing the length of his living room. His and _Monica's_ living room. He can't get any of it out of his head; Rachel's body against his, Rachel's swollen pink lips after he'd kissed them, Rachel's hands all over him. He's getting dizzy, walking in circles, seeing not his living room, but what just happened across the hall playing over and over in his mind like a film on repeat.

 _Fourth kiss, fourth kiss, fourth kiss._

Oh, he's been keeping count. He's been keeping count since nineteen eighty-seven.

Just then, Monica walks in with an armful of groceries.

"I love you!" Chandler blurts. Monica regards him carefully, observing him as if he has two heads. But having grown accustomed to his odd ways, she just smiles and asks what he wants for dinner.

Unfortunately, he's finding it difficult to answer, because all he can think is that he's in love with his fiancé's best friend.

* * *

 **Thank you for reading!**


	4. No Guests Allowed

**Inspired by S4E15 - The One with All the Rugby**

 **Rachel and Chandler spend the day together. Janice shows up. Rachel is jealous.**

* * *

No Guests Allowed

"Oh... my... God!"

The large red nail falls from Rachel's fingers as she stares over at her friend's ex. She can feel her left eye twitching and as the seconds tick by, the three of them locked in a stare-off, she can't help but wonder why Chandler isn't scrambling frantically to get out the door. Lord knew it was taking every ounce of self-control she had not to do the same.

But she waits quietly to see what Chandler will decide as Janice makes her way over to them. Pretend he never saw her? Throw something at her and run? He had done it before... Rachel pulls her hands from the table slowly, preparing for Chandler's urgent whisper to make a run for it, but it never comes. Instead, he watches the red-lipped woman make her way over without even the smallest sense of impending doom.

Rachel wonders if she's been thrust into the Twilight Zone.

"What a cowinkydink running into you guys here! I always said Chandler wouldn't be so self-conscious about his hands if he'd just get some routine maintenance done. I'm so glad someone was able to talk him into it." Janice aims this comment at Rachel before assaulting them both with what can hardly be considered laughter. Though it certainly makes some of the other patrons of the salon snicker.

Rachel flinches from the sound and looks expectantly at Chandler, but he seems entirely captivated by the woman standing before them. Rachel wants to gag. How many times did he have to get his heart broken by Janice – or worse, find the courage to break up with _her_ – before he realized that they are no good for each other?

"I just got divorced, so I'm not seeing..."

No! Rachel glances again at her friend and realizes he has turned even further away from her to listen to Janice speak. Why was he doing this to himself?

"I need to go pay for my mani, but let's grab lunch! I'd love to catch up with you two." She smiles intently at Chandler and Rachel's gag reflex acts up again. It's clear she couldn't care less if Rachel stuck around or not.

"Sounds great," Chandler tells her.

 _What?!_

Janice grins delightedly and holds up a finger as she makes her way over to the front counter.

Chandler turns back to his friend and recoils at the look on her face. "What?"

"Lunch with her would be great?" she asks.

"Come on, she's not that bad."

Rachel simply eyes him at that. He turns to seek out Janice again and an odd tightening sensation fills Rachel's chest. This was supposed to be _her_ day with Chandler, just the two of them. Even their actual friends weren't permitted to join, let alone an ex-girlfriend that she, and she thought _he_ , couldn't stand. But as she stares at the back of Chandler's head, she forces herself to come to terms with the fact that their day has come to an end. In fact, she plans to ditch the lovebirds as soon as they all step out of the salon.

An image of Chandler and Janice kissing comes unbidden into Rachel's mind and she thinks she really might puke this time.

Janice begins to make her way back to them and Rachel quickly drops a couple bills on the table, standing to make her exit. Halfway over, Janice pauses and throws her hands up into the air before turning back to the counter. She must have forgotten her card.

Before Rachel can lean down to say goodbye to Chandler – although, she doesn't know why she should, it's their day together – he grabs on to her arm and yanks her down to his level.

"Okay, I lied. She is that bad, I don't want to go to lunch. _Help me_."

Rachel wants to laugh in relief and tease him that oh no, he made his bed, it was time to lie in it. But she knows Janice will be back any moment, and if she wants to salvage her day with Chandler, then they really don't have a second to spare.

"Grab you shoes," she orders him. She digs a couple more bills out of her purse and hands them to the woman who was working on Chandler's toenails. "Come on, let's get out of here."

Bare, wet feet slapping against the tile and shoes in hand, Chandler laces his fingers with Rachel's and tugs her out the door. They run down the sidewalk together, giddy with excitement and rebellion. A small part of Rachel feels bad for ditching the other woman, but a quick peek over at the man pulling her along, and it vanishes.

Janice should have realized what she had with Chandler the first time around. She shouldn't have interrupted their day. She should really just stay far, far away, because Rachel had staked a claim and it wasn't going anywhere.

And when the two of them finally slow, and then came to a halt altogether so Chandler can slip his shoes back on, Rachel decides it can only be a good thing that Chandler snatches her hand back up again as they continue to make their way home.

* * *

 **Let me know what you think. It's short, but I'm just trying to get back into the swing of things. I hope you enjoyed!**


	5. Uncle Chandler

**Inspired by S9E08 - The One with Rachel's Other Sister**

 **Maybe Ross and Rachel misjudged Chandler's parenting capability.**

 **This was a prompt given to me by Boris Yeltsin! I hope it doesn't disappoint!**

* * *

 **Uncle Chandler**

Chandler slams the guest room door closed behind himself and stares at Rachel like a madman, eyes as round as the beautiful plates he just dumped across the floor.

"Chandler, what about -"

"What wedding plates? I didn't touch any plates. Where is Emma?" Chandler looks at the whimpering girl in Rachel's arms and promptly moves past them to dump the entire diaper bag out on to the bed. Rachel rolls her eyes at her friend's very normal theatrics, and very gently lays her daughter on the bed, reaching out to protect Emma's head from the flying wet-wipes and pacifiers.

"Can you hand me a - "

Chandler offers her seven diapers. She plucks one out of his hands and begins removing Emma's onesie. An unexpected laugh bursts from her lips when Chandler spins around to avoid seeing anything _personal_.

"I thought you wanted to change her yourself. Are you planning on doing it with your eyes closed?" she teases him.

He turns back around slowly and looks at her sheepishly, helplessly. His oh-so-confident attitude from just a few minutes ago has retreated back into hiding. Rachel feels a little bad about it. She helped contribute to his self-doubt about raising a child. Of course he would be a good father - with Monica as a teacher, he really didn't have a choice in the matter.

Rachel giggles inwardly at her private joke and glances over at her friend. She's a little taken off guard by the way he's watching her movements with Emma so meticulously. She's doing it from muscle memory at this point, her hands deftly wiping her daughter as she watches Chandler watch them. A slow smile spreads across Rachel's face.

Maybe he would make a good father even without Monica's precise instruction.

"After she's all clean, you slip the diaper under her and fold it closed, like this, you see?"

Chandler nods and reaches out to give it a try. Rachel is surprised at how eager he is, but also fascinated and curious at his willingness - this is Chandler Bing, after all. But she steps away and watches patiently over his shoulder as he folds the diaper closed and fiddles with the tabs, making sure they're secure.

Rachel is just about to move back into position to redress Emma when Chandler reaches for a clean onesie draped over the headboard and, somehow, finds the matching headband within the pile of crap that used to be the contents of her diaper bag. He very carefully pulls the material over the baby's head and Rachel falls easily into the chair in the corner of the room, comfortable enough to let him take over completely.

As she watches his slow progression, she decides that she and Ross were all wrong about him.

"You know, Chandler, I think I owe you an apology."

He doesn't even spare a glance at her, his eyes glued to her squirming daughter. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that Ross and I never should have left you out of the running to raise Emma if something were to happen to us," she elaborates.

"Really?" He peeks over at her.

Emma coos, drawing both their attention back to her adorable, squishy face. Chandler lifts her off the bed and settles her in the crook of his arm, bouncing and rocking her like a professional; like a dad. Emma's giggles flood the room and the sound squeezes the hearts of both the adults. Chandler looks up at Rachel with brilliant, excited eyes and makes a move to hand the baby back to her, but Rachel declines and allows the smile on her face to further bloom at the picture the two of them make.

Emma and her Uncle Chandler.

"Yes," Rachel says finally, moving just a bit closer to adjust her daughter's headband. "I think you'll make an excellent father. Any kid will be lucky to have you."

"Really?" he asks again. This time his eyes are wide with something akin to wonder and joy.

Rachel crosses her arms and has the decency to blush at how happy she's making him with her simple words. "Yeah. I should also thank you, you know, for breaking up my fight with Amy. It was pretty ridiculous and immature."

Chandler waves that statement off and wraps a comforting arm around her shoulders, pulling her in close. He places a kiss on her temple and says, "Oh, don't worry about it... but could you maybe go more for the collar area next time? Things could have gotten _really_ interesting."

"Ugh, Chandler!"

A devilish smirk turns up the corners of his mouth and he lets go of her to cradle Emma with both arms. He touches a little kiss to the tip of her nose and chuckles when she reaches up for him, little fingers grabbing at the air.

Rachel starts scooping up diapers and onesies, shoving them back into the diaper bag, when she hears the tell-tale mumbling coming from her daughter. She knows that means Emma's about to try and say something and waits patiently to see what she has to say to Uncle Chandler.

But she's unprepared for -

"Dada?"

She even glances up towards the bedroom door, expecting to see Ross standing in the doorway. But the door is still closed, she and Chandler are the only adults in the room, and seeing as Emma very clearly knows her as 'mama,' that could only mean that she called... Rachel's eyes dart back to Emma, but the first thing she notices are Chandler's Plate Eyes. _He's really going to hurt himself if he keeps doing that,_ she thinks.

"Please tell me she's said that a thousand times by now," Chandler begs her.

She hasn't.

Ross was going to kill Chandler.

Ross was going to kill _her_. Not that she had any control over who Emma called 'dada,' but he was still _so_ going to kill her.

Rachel's silence is all the answer Chandler needs. He suddenly looks at the baby like she's a time bomb with ten seconds left and not like he just changed her diaper and kissed her nose a moment ago.

"Hey guys, Monica's ready to - "

"Ahhh!"

Ross studies his two screaming friends like they each have two heads and six arms. "What the hell is going on?" he asks.

"Nothing, here's your baby!" Chandler holds the little bomb out to her father and can hardly contain the relief flooding his body once she's out of his grasp. He notices Rachel edging towards the open door and he'll be damned if she leaves him here alone with this potential catastrophe. He inches in the same direction and they're both grinning madly at Ross like they have not a single little care in the whole world.

Ross is looking at them like they popped their second heads off and started juggling them.

Emma wiggles and twists in her father's arms until she's nearly bent over backwards, reaching for Chandler. "Dada? Dada?"

"Oh my god! Emma! Rachel, did you hear - "

When Ross looks away from his daughter, he's alone in the room.

* * *

 **Thanks again to Boris for the prompt, I hope it's at least a little like you were imagining!**

 **A special thank you to JNM5505. I appreciated your message a lot and will be working on your prompt very shortly!**

 **And a final thank you to all the readers who review and have favorited and added this story to your alerts. It's all very much appreciated and does not go unnoticed!**


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